Parlin beats Fish in Arm Wrestling Tournament Upset


On the last Monday of the 2013/2014 year, a face-off between the two rising powers in arm wrestling, Nicholas “I’ll Beat You In Arm Wrestling” Fish-Borzykowski and Elizabeth “Check Out My Biceps” Parlin faced off in a throw down of epic proportions. The tournament took place in the Loretto Hall lounge, and tensions were high as Parlin flexed her powerful arms, in awe of her many fans in attendance. Reigning champion Fish wasn’t backing down, however, and the battle was on. The energy surrounding the two combatants when arms were locked was almost tangible, and the pressure of the incredibly intense, unwavering eye contact would have been enough to crush a submarine. On the coundown of Tri Nguyen, stand-in referee for the contest, the two monsters of the arena began their wrestle. Parlin took an early lead, and after some brutal arm shaking of muscles at their apex strength, eventually slammed the back of Fish’s hand against the table. Spectators JJ Corn, Kate Shulz and Michael Yoon cheered on account of this momentous victory. However, Fish cited that the firmness of the table was too great to accurately represent a fair competition. This statement is currently under review by the referee and the board of trustees. Parlin believes instead that her victory was not due to the firmness of the table, but that it came from inside. “The pork chop I had for dinner was really dense and filling,” she says, “it gave me the strength I needed to pull through.”